Posted by : Sophia Kinhnarath /
You are a size of an avocado. A small little avocado. Yet you're growing. And growing fast. They say be careful of the evil eye. They say be careful of black magic. But they don’t tell you to build a community. They don’t tell you make sure you have some people in your life to fall on, that you can trust, that you can build with, that you can grow with. And they don't say that when something happens such as a miscarriage or death at birth that community is the one that's going to bring you back on your feet. They don't tell you that keeping it to yourself is not healthy. But, of course, you need the time to heal, of course, you need to process it on your own, and of course, people around you may not say the best things to you. They are not saying the best things to you, they are saying thing that are not helpful because the stigma around not talking about it is large. Talking about the death of a baby is to the point of not knowing what to say anymore, even if they were your best friend. Avoiding that person because YOU feel uncomfortable. When we actually talk ,heal, grow, developed way to be there for one another, we are developing trust, community, sisterhood, brotherhood. If we continue to allow the stigma of not talking about these issues then we are continuing to hold on to the long trauma that has been going on since the beginning of time. So when people say are you not scared of that black magic? Are you not scared of something would happen to your baby because everybody knows you having a baby? I'd say that only Allah gives me what I can handle and only Allah can take away what is not meant for me. I only have the trust in Allah to allow me to bring the baby to this earth. And only Allah can take this baby away from this earth.
One of the daughters of the Prophet (ra) informed him that her child was dying, so he consoled her by saying, “To Allah belongs whatever He takes and whatever He gives. Everything (in this world) has a limited fixed time with Him. So be patient and (sincerely) seek and hope for reward from Him.” (Bukhari)
Its a miracle to give birth. Even scientist have said you body cannot handle that much pain. Yet each second a women is giving birth. Black magic and evil eyes can be eliminated by building our community of love and support for one another. But can you really carry the trauma, isolation that you carry with you by not having a community to fall back on and not have a support from your fellow sisters and brothers?